What it means to be you.

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You are not your mother.

You are not your sister.

You are not your family.

You… are just you.

 

You are not your friends.

You are not the friends you left behind.

You are not your enemies.

You…are just you.

 

You are not your job.

You are not your salary.

You are not just a number.

You…are just you.

 

You are not your manicure.

You are not your tires.

You are not your wrinkles.

You…are just you.

 

You don’t have to compare to live.

You don’t have to barter for love.

You don’t have to fish for compliments.

You can be just you.

 

You don’t have to be afraid of reflection.

You don’t have to be afraid of failure.

You don’t have to be worried about opinion.

You can be be just you.

Opinion or truth?

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Sometimes when I want less clamour, I come to my blog. Which is perhaps not how blogs are projected. But hey, it’s my space.

Recently Twitter and other offline forums have been talking about The Goa Think Fest by Tehelka. So it got me reading.

Here are some links that show you one side of what are presumably many sides.

Link 1

Link 2

Link 3

Link 4

Link 5

Do remember that these are all opinions, not the entire truth. Remember that when it colours your opinion.

An update.

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It’s been almost a year since I decided to follow a path where I know not how it ends.  The path started out with lots of false starts and speed bumps. It had lots moments where you question what you have decided to do, often succumbing to weak thoughts and tempting offers.

Somewhere in that one year I got an opportunity to write for someone who wants to emphasize the importance of following your heart. Not just following your heart but also making sure your head and heart speak in the same voice. What better way to figure out what stops you than finding like-minded people who have taken ‘chances’ or ‘risks’ to find a dream and make it come true. Meeting new people. Listening to their journeys and getting a chance to chronicle it. It’s like finding a whole segment of people who help you to unravel the tangle.

Do check out the Zing Blog.

Turning my world upside down

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Spirituality is like a diet – you have to try a few to establish what works for you. Diets comprise different eating habits, different foods and the option of picking and choosing the best points from many to make the perfect diet — for you.

Spirituality follows the same path. It seriously feels like a light bulb went on inside me.

Just shapes. Not good or bad.

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Everyone always tells you that the path to true happiness is self-love. On one hand, it sounds like something a guru would say and something you would hear and not really dwell on, and on the other hand, it is something very few truly manage. For it would mean never comparing yourself to anyone else – for the positive or the negative.  Whether it is job, money, men, friendships, and any other form of validation. This can apply to every aspect of your life but one area it hit home acutely recently is beauty.

We all think we know what beauty it is more so because beauty, as school aphorisms have made us mug up, lies in the eye of the beholder. But does beauty also mean that if the beholder thinks you could use some improvements, your beauty lies diminished?  All along people would say things like ..’but you are tall,’ or ‘your nose looks like HER nose’ or many other such lines and I would think, so what? I don’t like what I see in the mirror so these lines mean naught to me.  Just because you like some part of me better, does not change any thing for me.

In the last two odd years how I look at myself has changed. I do not know if it has changed in a good way or bad but my worth is not comparative anymore. I feel so much better now. And all I seem to want to do is want my other girl friends to understand why. In the process of trying to explain to them, I realised that it is perhaps a step they need to journey to on their own. I know I faced a lot of negativity when I changed the way I look. I changed it because I changed the way I thought. It affected people I did not expect because they perhaps weighed themselves against how they thought I was. That truly was my inkling. I have not changed, I would think, why have they?

Sometime ago I remember discussing with another writer how India needed its own Jezebel because there were bound to be women who had a mind of their own and weren’t afraid to own it. But Indian women are too far away from that. I am an urban, educated working woman and it is unbelievable how many conversations that I have been party to are about men, how to get them, what to do to get them, why we weren’t getting them, are we not attractive enough (therefore) and so on and so forth.  This post stood out like a beacon on my feed home page. Another post on why it is important to accept what you are without qualifications.

It does not matter whether you are a feminist or not, a house wife or not, a mother or not or trying to fulfill one of the many roles you are expected to or not, if you believe in your core, nobody can take that away. Otherwise you are constantly a shell, trying to fill it with substance you think others want to see there.