It’s the Thursday epiphany

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A few years ago I met this girl who I took an instant dislike to. No reason. Really. I never really stopped to think why. Our paths did occasionally cross so I didn’t have to worry.

In the last 18 months, though, our paths started crossing often. I began to get more and more irked. Why did I have to see her so often? Why did we have so many common friends, who were close to the both of us?

Then came the last straw. One day, someone at my current workplace compared me to her.  When I mentioned it to my family, they also agreed. yes, you’ll do look similar. That was it. The last straw. I sank into a funk. Nothing would pull me out. I still could not figure why I disliked, even abhorred being compared to her.

I tried to changed a lot about myself in the last few months (or so I thought). But today I saw some of her photographs and it hit me, why I didn’t like being compared to her.

She is always happy. Her eyes gleam and rarely have I heard her say a self-deprecating thing. Ok so she usually takes over the room and cracks loud, bawdy jokes but I never disliked her for that. I disliked her because people thought we were very similar. I resented that she never complained about anything.

But today I saw the gleam in her eyes, the sheer joy in the body language and realised that *is* exactly what I resented. Her sheer joie de vivre.

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6 responses »

  1. But i dislike her as well. And frankly, havent stopped to question why. I’m sure it has nothing to do with her ‘happy’ outlook on life. Instinctively, I just don’t trust her. Question is, are my ‘instincts’ way off the mark, or do I just find it difficult to trust people?

  2. kimimpossible: That would be for you to figure out… For me, it was not so much about her, as it was my reaction to her. Her happy outlook may or may not exist, I won’t be checking with her. But now it doesn’t bother me. That is more important for me.

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