An evening out with friends


I am yet to figure out people who seek me out to list out their problem areas. I don’t say anything new. I don’t take their side and am even brutally honest. I don’t offer any ‘value add’. Why me, I always wonder.

‘They’ specially make plans.. to meet and the proceed to vomit out their woes and go their way. I end the evening figuring out why I agreed (for some strange fangled notion that we are friends perhaps) and why do I go back heavier (figuratively only ) as compared to when I started.

Yes there is a lot of talk about being able to listen.. but do people actually listen? They may hear what you are saying but are they listening? “How are you?”, “How is life?”, “How is job?” — all these questions are asked but nobody waits for an answer. So after a while you realise that and don’t even expect a pause. These people just carry on. They don’t even need encouraging words or appropriate responses.

‘They’ are worried about not making enough money. About staying single all their lives. About not getting what they want when they want it. They are worried life isn’t panning out as they had planned it. Me too, you want to chime in but maybe next time you’ll say it.

It’s a group of 4 and there is one.. who is actually listening to you. He asks you and expectantly sits back. You drop the bomb. You are quitting or You have found some one or something just as trivial between friends or just as important as developments go. Then ‘they’ get up and demand why they weren’t told earlier. ‘I thought I was your best friend?’ they say.

Maybe that’s the problem.. your thinking?

One response »

  1. move back. sorry to go on about it. but i will listen and i miss you. terribly. and i am probably guilty of all of the above. but i still want you back.

    and you know what. you are the best listener and the best advice giver i know – BECAUSE you are brutally honest. and you offer plenty of value ad. you underestimate yourself. all the time.

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