In the last few days, in numerous different situtions, I’ve heard a similar question asked repeatedly — at what age does it become okay to tell your parents that though you aren’t married or anywhere close to being so you are sexually active?
Is there any age in particular when talks about sex becomes acceptable between children and parents? I specifically ask about women because with I have noticed with guys I know..whether they are in their early 20s or late 30s; single or taken .. it’s always assumed that they are active and who are these phantom women they supposedly bed..will always remain a mystery. And then those famous men (my friends and colleagues in there too) who want virgin brides after shrugging off a bevy of beauties ravished in their wake.
But yes.. am not in 20s anymore and think its unfair to expect that I to remain ‘coy and untouched’ for the eventuality of marriage one day. And why should I have waited till I turned 30 anyway.
The conversations led me to believe that though my parents are liberal, a conversation about me being pregnant aka Juno would just not be possible.Unthinkable more like it.. Of course I don’t expect them to take things like babies with such equanimity but I am reasonably sure they would not be okay to discuss sex with me.
I hear fathers frown on the premise of Grey’s Anatomy. I see McDreamy and he sees he dad in question sex outside a marriage and frowns on us liking it. Leading me to wonder if being modern is only something we’ve achieved in government statistical handouts.
Should my parents just assume that ‘am doing it’ and hope they never have to discuss it with me ? Or they genuinely feel it can’t be possible because I won’t until I get married.
I have guy friends in their mid-30s who are sure about not getting married and get as much sex as they need.. without the pay-by-the-hour kinds. But mothers refuse to understand. ‘He has needs and he should get married..’ is a common refrain but maybe just maybe the two aren’t related.
Women discussing are termed ‘bold’ which is just another way of saying ‘Oh god, she is saying things we don’t let out even’. It’s not like our parents didn’t have sex and had friends who has boyfriends and girlfriends then and even the stray instance of getting pregnant before marriage.
Maybe we are more callous with feelings, needs and our bodies but isn’t it a better bet that marrying just for ‘the famous need’? But more than that.. it should be necessary that I am able to tell my parents how things exactly are..considering the need for sex education that this country desperately needs.