Some time ago I was faced with a peculiar predicament. I had one set of parents who had discovered that their daughter-a 23-year-old had a sex life. They also discovered she had been lying about stuff, betraying them. But what bothered them more is that she had one … and not so much about the betrayal.. which I thought was more wrong in the two.
I was in a quandary. I was asked to mediate and I had no clue how. See, the thing is I don’t think its such a big deal if she has a sex life. She is old enough to know she has to act responsibly and its between her and her boyfriend what they choose to do. And of course, she cannot tell her parents – “ok am off for dinner and will be spending the night at his place”.
I had no idea what to say to the girl. I knew she had not done anything wrong. One has to learn to act responsibly and at the same time she is 23—and just like guys, girls have gallivanting hormones.
I tried telling her parents that there is nothing wrong in it but her parents were inclined to believe it was just peer pressure. I did not push the matter with them. As long as they did not sanction unreasonable things like “no talking to guys etc”. They have not.
I concentrated more here on the 23 year old learning that it’s an action that requires responsibility. And every action has an equal and opposite reaction. I still don’t know what will happen but hopefully she is not guilt wracked, as her mother might want her to.