It’s that time of the night when every sensation seems so amplified. Coming up to 3 am, reeling from the adrenaline rush from what seemed like a nightmare, I am up and staring at my blog. Wondering why no words have not come to my rescue in these last few weeks and even months.
Earlier today, when I was screaming at someone, I felt something inside me shift. I remembered the exact moment I turned around to scream. I could feel all this poison rise up, like a snake rearing its head, inside me. I kept telling myself I did not want to scream because I am rarely coherent when I am angry.
But this vicious snake-like sensation unfurled and I screamed my head out. Now I am awake, unable to sleep and wondering how does one not lose one’s temper.
Deep breathing is passe. Counting doesn’t work for me. Might help to think of the last thing you baked that came out well.
I wouldn’t mind learning how to lose my temper. Effectively. Can never seem to get angry in a way that will make a difference to the person I am angry with.
Hope you are feeling calmer.
Nimpipi: Nothing works.. because every argument broaches a hitherto unbroached level of mad.
Banno: yes I am.. but this once I don’t regret screaming…
i usually swim, very furiously.
Sheturningblue: Yes. I too try that. Swim furiously out of that misasma… as no pools readily available in this city.